Player Confessions- “I actually suck.”

by P.N. Guinn

The following is from a player who wishes to remain anonymous.

You know, I tell everyone that I’m awesome.  You know in CS:GO I play and I occasionally win and tell my team they’re welcome for the carry.  But when I lose, I blame them for not covering my flank, or playing like dumbs***s.  But really, I’m not that good at the game.  I get lucky sometimes, catch some people making mistakes, and steam roll the game.  It looks like I carry, but…well, I’m pretty sure the enemy is carrying me.  I know science proves I’m right that it their fault for losing, but deep down, I know it’s not true.

Or, like, I play League of Legends.  If I lose lane, I totally blame it on the enemy having a better jungler.  I spam the question mark pings at my jungle, I tell him that I lose due to them not ganking.  I know, I know.  Research says this flaming is good for my team, nut really, when I died in 2 or 3 1v1s, it’s gotta be my fault.

Or sometimes I’ll do 2v2 Smash games.  I totally love Ness.  But, well, I tell my teammate they do terrible picks, but I’m pretty sure me missing so many times might actually be the problem.  But you know what?  I can’t admit that.  My ego, it’s just to fragile to confront my mistakes.  If did that, I might actually realize that I suck not just at games, but at life, and I can’t handle that.

Or there was a time in Overwatch where I was Mcree, and had a perfect set up for a sweet High Noon.  Well, except for the Roadhog literally a few feet in behind me.  I went all dumb-f**k and did it anyway and died.  Should I have done it, hell no.  But guess what, I totally blamed my Reinhardt for not covering me.  I raged about how I could have play of the game AND won us the game with that one play but he could not do a simple job of covering me.

I’m a terrible person.

But I’ll never tell you in game.  In game, it’s all your fault.  I’ll totally flame you, you f**ktards.