New Study Find it Truly is All Your Your Team Mates’ Fault

By Warren Piece

A new study released by Arizona Polytechnical University has finally verified what you knew was true all along, those losses were due to your dumb as rocks team mates. Through an in depth analysis of replays, aggregated data and interviews, it is clear you really are better than your win rate suggests. “I mean, you told them all along,” says head researcher, Dr. R.C. Kola, “but now you have science to show them.”

Going in depth, it looks like that time you flamed Mercy for resurrecting the others rather than just heal you while you went in 4 v 2, was totally on target. She could have saved the match. But no, she completely screwed that one over.

And that game of DOTA where the Shadow fiend never roamed? Yeah you were right. If he had, you’d have totally beat down their team.

You remember that Star Craft game way back when? You were totally asking for help when you go Zerg Rushed, and the noob Protoss wouldn’t empty his base to rescue yours. Sure he had some humans harassing him, but he could totally javelin handled that with turrets.

And don’t get us started on that idiot heavy who expected you to heal him while he rushed the enemy. Served him right for going in without asking you if you were ready.

So, next time you lose, let your team know how they screwed you over. Science proves you’re right, and they won’t get better idea you don’t tell them.