EA Announces formation of new Development Studio: EA Recycled

by Warren Peace

Citing success of a numerous redux versions of older games, EA has announced the formation for “EA REmastered” which will focus exclusively on redoing old games to release.  The spokesman for EA pointed to examples of Skyrim Special Edition, Doom and Pokemon as successful franchises that have been remastered versions of old game.  Though he added, “Doom is a bit more intense than we are thinking.”

Though details were not officially announced, insiders inform the Daily Rager that, “This will be awesome, we simply crap out new graphics and call it day.”

An executive of the new subsidiary, “We’re pretty sure we get 20% of all budgets allocated to those idiots at Maxis, Bioware, EA Mobile, Criterion, and the other losers who think they have to spend all that time developing story boards and game engines to make a game.”  He leaned back and laughed, telling me, “Heck, we can do it all with half the staff, and those guys will be mainly graphic artists. You know, the cheap ones.”

Officially, other subsidiary spokes people welcomed the new “sister company.”  However, off the record interviews were less than pleased.  “Well what are we supposed to do now?!” said one employee of EA Mobile.

“Great, we create some of the greatest stuff ever, and now someone slaps better graphics on an Asari and calls it a new game,” an executive of Bioware stated.  Adding, “Though I wouldn’t mind seeing Kaiden in HD…I mean the guys a stud…”

A developer at The Sims Studio seemed unperturbed, though, stating, “You think a new skin is all it takes to make a game?  You gotta add a little more than that to make a real game, you know, like more skills and growing up!  That totally makes for a new experience.  They can’t touch this, so we’re good.”