Developer Replaces Entire QA Staff in 3 Hours

By Don Giev Asit

The day started off fairly poor for James Mason, QA Director for New Ages of Awesomeness Games. “I came in and found a bunch of the monkeys…I mean QA specialists stinking up my office door way. I had to febreeze this whole area! And they admitted to not have done any bug testing yet…”

But things soon got worse for Mason. “The ungrateful gremlins were telling me they wanted air conditioning, hourly bathroom breaks and no more then 3 people per 12 sqft office. Can you believe that?”

Mason then told us that, in the interest of peace and team harmony he did make a concession. “I offered to buy them a pizza, enough for each to get a slice. But no, they stated they would strike. One even mentioned a union.”

Mason leaned back and put his hands behind his head as he continues, “So I fired the whole QA department, then and there. Stupid simians think we’re going to air condition their rooms? They don’t have a server in there. But, you know, we now had a problem. We needed a couple of QA people.”

Acting quickly, Manson did a quick web search, grabbed a couple of security guards and jnaitors, and they all drove company vans to local high schools. “Then we just held up a sign that said ’18? Want to get a job playing video games every day? We are hiring for immediate positions!’ And after doing that during three different school lunch periods, we had a new QA staff.”

Mason then bought the new hires a couple of pizzas, did an hour of orientation, and he was all set. “Those kids are back in the closet, I mean offices now, testing out the 3,577,237 different equipment combinations right now to find bugs.”

Mason sighs and says, “Beautiful thing is, there’s dozens more to take these new vermins’ place when they don’t show tomorrow.”