by P.N. Guinn
Lt. Gen. Fogey, commander of the Innovative Training Command, announced today that the US Army was implementing a program to use video games to train soldiers for more real life situations. The program comes on the heels of a similar program utilized by the US Marine Corps. When asked, LtGen Fogey confirmed it had been his inspiration, “I thought, if the Marines can do something like that to get these kids head in the game, we can too, only we’ll do it bigger and better!”
The general went on quite effusively about the project. “We all know kids these days don’t know nothing but video games. H***, they say they do more video games than fighting on the front line now!” He then laughed and added, “Wait till we drop them inKorea, though. Then they’ll stop thinking it’s a game.”
Per the formal press release that accompanied the announcement provides further details. According to the press release, the Army has contracted with Alienware, a Florida based Dell Computer subsidiary, to purchased 500 computers for a total price of $2.3 million. They also had contracted game designers Firaxis Games, a Maryland based game developer famous for its strategy game X-Com, and Infinity Ward, a California based game developer famous for its Call of Duty franchise. Per the contract, the Army had paid Firaxis $4.2 million for a strategy game and Infinity Ward $5.9 million for a first person shooter.
An Alienware spokesman stated the army had a very exacting standard, but they were more than happy to provide the services for the “good of our troops and nation.” They detailed how they had to work through a very exacting testing phase. “Unfortunately, there was a cost overrun, but we were able to finally get them the right machines for them.”
An Infinity Ward spokesman stated, “We are extremely please to provide support for our soldiers. As we all know, we have been at the forefront of creating high quality games. This project took thousands of man hours, and we had some cost overruns. However, we believe that ultimately this will be a very unique product for our troops to help train them.” They released the following screen shot of actual training in game:
A Firaxis spokeswoman said, “While we are new to government contracting, it is our honor to serve our troops. We had to burn some midnight oil, and some of the Army’s desired features were more costly than we had originally imagined, but in the end, we are very proud of the product we have produced.” They too released a screen shot in simulation:
Both spokes people declined to comment on similarities between the screen shots and previous video games.
The Daily Rager asked members of congress about the high cost of what appear to be commercial level video games. Senator Marco Rubio, Florida, stated, “I am proud that the state of Florida was able to contribute. I would also like to point out that my leadership brought these jobs into the state.” Senator Kamela Harris said in a press release, “We of California are proud and thankful to have had some many of our fellow Californians employed in work to serve our military.” Senator Ben Cardin, Marlyand, added that, “All the work done in my state serves as a testimony to our current and future commitment to our work with those men and women who serve us in uniform.”
While no one would speak on the record, the Daily Rager did receive an off the record comment from a highly placed US Marine Corps officer. He stated, “This just continues the pattern of the USMC doing something, then the army copying it for more than 5 times the price, and still f***ing it up.” He laughed and added, “We innovate out of junk, they copy and get cheated like a drunk at a car dealership.”
Random Writings 