New Study: 86% of Sims Players are Sociopaths

By Dra McQueen

We have all heard the debate about gaming and increasing sociopathic tendencies. Whether it is TV pundits making grand statements about games they have never seen, attorneys trying to tie shootings to video games, or even game developers really trying to cement the narrative, there is a lot of people who claim that video games are correlated to violence. However, a new study does a lot to demonstrate some actual sociopathic tendencies, but it comes from a surprising quarter: The Sims gaming community.

The study comes out of UCLA and conducted its research through a combination of surveys and game play observation. Gamers answered questions about their typical game play beliefs, most importantly a full 89% agree that their sims had “wants, needs and desires similar to real people.” What followed was a gruesome testimony about how people treat these real “wants, needs and desires.”

“I was quite shocked by the behaviors displayed,” said Dr. RC Kola. “We expected to see some negative tendencies, but the level was staggering.” The study followed the actual in game behaviors of players and made note of at least 3 significant anti-social actions on the part of players.

Intentionally setting their Sims up to light themselves and/or loved ones on fire was the first observed behavior, though occurred in a relatively minor amount of times despite its statistically significant rate. Dr. Kola stated that about 27% of players engaged in this behavior, usually in conjunction with not allowing proper access to emergency response services. Players were observed giggling at their Sims’ antics as they and/or their things burned.

Second, isolation and deprivation of necessary facilities was highly significant in its number of occurrences. A full 53% of players would intentionally set up their Sims without any access to beds and/or toilets. Players frequently laughed uncontrollably as their Sims soiled themselves then passed out on the floor. “Disturbing” was the term used in the study.

Finally, and perhaps most surprising, outright murder was the most common occurrence with 69% of players intentionally drowning theirs Sims. This disturbing behavior was apparently done mainly out of a cold blooded calculus. “Most players decided that a Sim did not fit the household or had a personality that they deemed inappropriate,” Dr. Kola stated, and then shuddered a little and continued, “We find more emotional response in farmers culling a diseased piglet than these players.”

Pundits from all 3 major cable news networks immediately called for a ban on this “dark and disturbing game.” Senators Feinstein (D) and Flake (R) have called for a congressional investigation into the evils of this “depraved murder simulator.”